difficult news

she is dropping again,
last weekend she was down a few points to 20%
this weekend she is down further, to 16%

i've been concerned for months.
thing is, her body is dwindling again, only this time...slower.
i don't know how to explain it but once you've been through it, you then develop an eye for even the slightest of change.
it's different this time than it was during our outset.
she was on such high doses of meds last year, and it broke her body into pieces...
it was a drastic dive into the ground; and with it came setback after setback.
for months she was a skeleton of a dog and it was just a nightmare that held her on the edge of death, literally.
then we got an answered prayer.
and here we are 9 months later...
yet what happens now?
at this moment the meds are reduced so much, and the changes in body are so slight that it's hard to know when to panic.
but those numbers can sure make your heart sink.

it's been a year now since she was diagnosed, and this is the first time since mid-september (and since the use of durabolin) that she has been below 19%
yet if you look at her weight, it's close to normal.
if you watch her interaction, it reflects an interested and capable dog.
from september of 2007 to june of 2008 sway has been holding a RBC count between 19-29%
this had become our 'new normal' and for the time being i was okay with accepting that.
but with each passing week i wondered to myself and aloud, why won't her count go any higher?
why has her skull not filled back out?
why is she so damn dependent on drinking as much water as she can get her hands on?
i know the steroids create a greater desire for water, but this is above and beyond being obsessed.
if sway had it her way she would never take her mouth out of the water bowl.

i keep in touch with dr. dodds and a few folks who have pets going through this same disease (like patrice) ... and the obvious thought is there's got to be something we are missing with sway.
so a few days ago i setup another in person with dr. dodds for july 9th in irvine, she is in australia right now.

the first time i met dr. dodds, sway was in the 24 hour hospital and so i was actually unable to bring her with me.
now, the hope is that we can take this a step further and possibly pin point what...if anything, we are missing.
i tell you,
just meeting with dr. dodds is such a morale booster.
i can't explain how recharged i felt after meeting with her in 2007.
it was like she validated that everything i was doing was okay.
in a situation like this, that is really important for someone to do.
i struggled daily with how terribly bad sway was doing physically.
it's tough to look back at that awful time and i'm praying that history does NOT repeat itself.
but my point is that dr. dodds replenished my conscience with a dose of hope that i desperately needed...

at this point her blood spin from a few hours ago has made everything much more urgent...
especially if her holding period is now over.
i have no clue what our next week is going to be like,
i have no clue what to expect.
please think of sway and send some good vibes her way.
my heart goes out to everyone who has a pet dealing with this disease,
may they all be given the strength to battle through it.