as a way of honoring sway's life i'm going to be competing in the long beach triathlon in september.
my hope is that it will also provide me with a therapeutic outlet while trying to cope with the hard reality of losing her.
finishing a triathlon is something i've always wanted to do and i suppose there is no time like the present... it is challenging atleast; sway was never really one for swimming but she could run like the wind and loved to lead me when i would go biking... I fully expect her to be co-piloting with me on september 20th.
any funds i raise will end up being split between the 4 organizations listed below...
hemopet animal blood bank
meisha's hope AIHA/IMHA fund #338
pit bull rescue of san diego
bad rap (bay area doglovers responsible about pit bulls)
help from anyone is appreciated...
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Sunday, July 26, 2009
one of those moments
i wanted to share a story with everyone...
this happened to me yesterday and will remain with me as one of the most memorable things that i have personally ever seen.
since sway's passing 2 days ago, i have continued to talk to her at random times throughout the days...
i don't know any other way to help me with my grief, as she lives within me now.
well... weeks prior to all this happening i had made arrangements to go dolphin and whale watching on sunday 7/26 in dana point.
my mom was flying in to visit me on the 22nd and would be here a week and so it was one of the things i setup in advance of her getting here.
i had talked to sway numerous times already this day and we (me, my girlfriend, my mom and her friend) took off in this large boat and went miles out into the ocean for a 3+ hour ride...
while out there we spent the first hour and a half watching 2 blue whales feeding and that in-and-of itself is obviously incredible...
the group then spotted a dolphin pod and the boat began riding with them and there was about 50-100 of them swimming around us... and i, (along with my gf and my moms friend) were on the bow/front of this boat with about 20 other people... and keep in mind this is about a 50 foot boat...
and while everyone in the front is taking pictures and enjoying the fact that we have wild dolphins interacting with the ship, i began to grab my heart and talk to sway and just tell her how much i missed her and loved her and 'we have dolphins here, and do you see this sway??' -- and literally 30 seconds after i started speaking to her... and this is true, i offer my life up as this being fully true...
30 seconds after i started speaking to sway, my moms friend (who was standing 2 feet from me) tapped my girlfriend on the shoulder and pointed out a rainbow reflection in the ocean water as we were riding...
i only overheard him say this because i was standing right next to my girlfriend.
i looked down, and sure enough -- a full on rainbow reflection that was about 5 feet in length and right off this boats left hand side, right in the EXACT area that i was facing...
had i hopped over the railing where i was standing my fall would have been right overboard an on top of this rainbow reflection.
no one else on the boat saw it, 50-60 people on the boat, they were too pre-occupied with the dolphins... we were the only 3 on the entire boat that saw it.
it lasted for about 60 seconds, it was viewable nowhere in the sky, just reflected perfectly on the moving ocean water to the exact left of me as our boat was speeding over the waves with these dolphins... and it stayed perfectly in place, and then was just gone.
now of course i didn't mention the significance of such a thing to them, and it was just a cool lil' rainbow to them...
but me, knowing the existence of a 'rainbow bridge' that passing dogs go too, well i knew it was sway.
i knew it. 150% positive. and i will never forget this for as long as i live.
i told my girlfriend this story that night and couldn't contain my emotions as i barely got this thing out to her, and spoke about faith and hope and the existence of a God and all kinds of things.
i'm not an overly religious person, but that was one of those moments in one's life... you might have 2 or 3 in a lifetime, where you just say in awe - proof is shown to you from God himself.
and i will just never forget it.
and that wasn't all...
i always have said for years that sway's face looked like a baby seal - she has the most beautiful eyes and they are big and bright and pure and innocent and they just looked almost identical to a seals eyes in that sense.
well, 10 minutes after the rainbow thing... we are still riding with the dolphins and again, we are miles out from the shore... and i look backwards off the deck while we are moving with these dolphins, and out pops a california sea lion pup swimming behind the boat, with the dolphins!!!
and it was just him, out of nowhere, totally random... hadn't seen one out swimming the entire trip... but there he was, dipping and weaving behind the boat, and then he was gone within seconds...
the captain saw him swimming with us and pointed him out, and at the time i told my girlfriend that the little guy looked exactly like a mermaid version of sway haha.
only after i explained the rainbow story to her that night did she put into context the significance of that lil' sea lion pup showing up out of the blue, it was pretty neat.
both memories will stick with me forever, and they just show me personally that sway is clearly all around me.
subtly and maybe only showing up in a situation like the rainbow, that was clearly meant for my eyes only... but she is there none the less.
and it makes me feel good to know.
it gives me faith and it helps me.
it helps me.
she always does that and is clearly still doing it.
love you sway.
>>vetnet
this happened to me yesterday and will remain with me as one of the most memorable things that i have personally ever seen.
since sway's passing 2 days ago, i have continued to talk to her at random times throughout the days...
i don't know any other way to help me with my grief, as she lives within me now.
well... weeks prior to all this happening i had made arrangements to go dolphin and whale watching on sunday 7/26 in dana point.
my mom was flying in to visit me on the 22nd and would be here a week and so it was one of the things i setup in advance of her getting here.
i had talked to sway numerous times already this day and we (me, my girlfriend, my mom and her friend) took off in this large boat and went miles out into the ocean for a 3+ hour ride...
while out there we spent the first hour and a half watching 2 blue whales feeding and that in-and-of itself is obviously incredible...
the group then spotted a dolphin pod and the boat began riding with them and there was about 50-100 of them swimming around us... and i, (along with my gf and my moms friend) were on the bow/front of this boat with about 20 other people... and keep in mind this is about a 50 foot boat...
and while everyone in the front is taking pictures and enjoying the fact that we have wild dolphins interacting with the ship, i began to grab my heart and talk to sway and just tell her how much i missed her and loved her and 'we have dolphins here, and do you see this sway??' -- and literally 30 seconds after i started speaking to her... and this is true, i offer my life up as this being fully true...
30 seconds after i started speaking to sway, my moms friend (who was standing 2 feet from me) tapped my girlfriend on the shoulder and pointed out a rainbow reflection in the ocean water as we were riding...
i only overheard him say this because i was standing right next to my girlfriend.
i looked down, and sure enough -- a full on rainbow reflection that was about 5 feet in length and right off this boats left hand side, right in the EXACT area that i was facing...
had i hopped over the railing where i was standing my fall would have been right overboard an on top of this rainbow reflection.
no one else on the boat saw it, 50-60 people on the boat, they were too pre-occupied with the dolphins... we were the only 3 on the entire boat that saw it.
it lasted for about 60 seconds, it was viewable nowhere in the sky, just reflected perfectly on the moving ocean water to the exact left of me as our boat was speeding over the waves with these dolphins... and it stayed perfectly in place, and then was just gone.
now of course i didn't mention the significance of such a thing to them, and it was just a cool lil' rainbow to them...
but me, knowing the existence of a 'rainbow bridge' that passing dogs go too, well i knew it was sway.
i knew it. 150% positive. and i will never forget this for as long as i live.
i told my girlfriend this story that night and couldn't contain my emotions as i barely got this thing out to her, and spoke about faith and hope and the existence of a God and all kinds of things.
i'm not an overly religious person, but that was one of those moments in one's life... you might have 2 or 3 in a lifetime, where you just say in awe - proof is shown to you from God himself.
and i will just never forget it.
and that wasn't all...
i always have said for years that sway's face looked like a baby seal - she has the most beautiful eyes and they are big and bright and pure and innocent and they just looked almost identical to a seals eyes in that sense.
well, 10 minutes after the rainbow thing... we are still riding with the dolphins and again, we are miles out from the shore... and i look backwards off the deck while we are moving with these dolphins, and out pops a california sea lion pup swimming behind the boat, with the dolphins!!!
and it was just him, out of nowhere, totally random... hadn't seen one out swimming the entire trip... but there he was, dipping and weaving behind the boat, and then he was gone within seconds...
the captain saw him swimming with us and pointed him out, and at the time i told my girlfriend that the little guy looked exactly like a mermaid version of sway haha.
only after i explained the rainbow story to her that night did she put into context the significance of that lil' sea lion pup showing up out of the blue, it was pretty neat.
both memories will stick with me forever, and they just show me personally that sway is clearly all around me.
subtly and maybe only showing up in a situation like the rainbow, that was clearly meant for my eyes only... but she is there none the less.
and it makes me feel good to know.
it gives me faith and it helps me.
it helps me.
she always does that and is clearly still doing it.
love you sway.
>>vetnet
Saturday, July 25, 2009
7/24 - heaven, the bridge
thursday i had taken sway into the vet and my (normally) 40 lb pit bull was down to 17 lbs -- she had been around 23 lbs for most of this year.
that was a complete shell-shock to me as just a week ago she was 23 lbs.
her physical body had been skeletal for an extended period of time now due to numerous reasons, but this drop was clearly of a significant nature as i could almost fit my thumb and index finger around the entire circumference of her neck.
she had been vomiting all night on wednesday and had most notably become very listless and withdrawn over a short period of time.
within the last month she had also started to develop a long stringy mucus that would sporadically hang from her backside after she would pee.
dr. woods thought it was either an elevation of the constant UTI's that she has, or an infection linked to a kind of pancreatitis.
unfortunately we weren't able to treat the more recent urinary tract infections because all the suggested medications via the urinalysis' were very harmful to dogs with serious liver issues.
it just seemed as though everywhere we turned it was 'between a rock and a hard place' - and that this was our reality, over and over.
they ran a full comprehensive blood panel on thursday and the next morning i got the results...
i was up early with sway and she was having a very rough time.
her walking was very labored and she could barely keep her head up for more than a few seconds.
the panel showed that it was indeed pancreatitis.
...on top of AIHA, on top of multiple in-operable liver shunts that were preventing proper absorption, on top of SIBO, on top of multiple UTI's, extreme cachexia, etc.
it also showed that her HCT had dropped to 11% (was holding in the low 20's a month ago)
we could try fluid therapy for the pancreatitis, but i was told that would dilute her blood even further.
then we are talking about blood transfusions after that...
i called dr. dodds and she spoke of sway's body just breaking down.
a million times the prior night i had fears and thoughts of what if, what to do, what to expect, can/should we continue...
after receiving the panel, consulting both doctors, being with sway and seeing the drastic shift in her well-being over the last 48 hours; i had made the heartbreaking decision to put her down.
it was scheduled for 2pm and i spent every moment laying next to her.
at 12:45pm sway passed away naturally in my bed with me talking to her and giving her kisses.
coincidentally my mom was out here on vacation at the same time, so she was with us.
i will never be able to put into words the range of emotion that ran and continues to run through my body...
rest in peace Sway, my favorite of all times.
thank you for being everything i ever wanted or needed.
the 1 being that could do no wrong; that could always brighten up my day, did it perfectly for 8+ years.
i love you forever - more than anything in the world; i'm so proud of you and i will miss you every single day.
i cannot wait until i can see you again,
and until that moment i live better having had you in my family, and having you continue on in my heart.
please watch over me as i keep trying to do what i was put here to do... God bless you Sway, you are the greatest.
>>vetnet
that was a complete shell-shock to me as just a week ago she was 23 lbs.
her physical body had been skeletal for an extended period of time now due to numerous reasons, but this drop was clearly of a significant nature as i could almost fit my thumb and index finger around the entire circumference of her neck.
she had been vomiting all night on wednesday and had most notably become very listless and withdrawn over a short period of time.
within the last month she had also started to develop a long stringy mucus that would sporadically hang from her backside after she would pee.
dr. woods thought it was either an elevation of the constant UTI's that she has, or an infection linked to a kind of pancreatitis.
unfortunately we weren't able to treat the more recent urinary tract infections because all the suggested medications via the urinalysis' were very harmful to dogs with serious liver issues.
it just seemed as though everywhere we turned it was 'between a rock and a hard place' - and that this was our reality, over and over.
they ran a full comprehensive blood panel on thursday and the next morning i got the results...
i was up early with sway and she was having a very rough time.
her walking was very labored and she could barely keep her head up for more than a few seconds.
the panel showed that it was indeed pancreatitis.
...on top of AIHA, on top of multiple in-operable liver shunts that were preventing proper absorption, on top of SIBO, on top of multiple UTI's, extreme cachexia, etc.
it also showed that her HCT had dropped to 11% (was holding in the low 20's a month ago)
we could try fluid therapy for the pancreatitis, but i was told that would dilute her blood even further.
then we are talking about blood transfusions after that...
i called dr. dodds and she spoke of sway's body just breaking down.
a million times the prior night i had fears and thoughts of what if, what to do, what to expect, can/should we continue...
after receiving the panel, consulting both doctors, being with sway and seeing the drastic shift in her well-being over the last 48 hours; i had made the heartbreaking decision to put her down.
it was scheduled for 2pm and i spent every moment laying next to her.
at 12:45pm sway passed away naturally in my bed with me talking to her and giving her kisses.
coincidentally my mom was out here on vacation at the same time, so she was with us.
i will never be able to put into words the range of emotion that ran and continues to run through my body...
rest in peace Sway, my favorite of all times.
thank you for being everything i ever wanted or needed.
the 1 being that could do no wrong; that could always brighten up my day, did it perfectly for 8+ years.
i love you forever - more than anything in the world; i'm so proud of you and i will miss you every single day.
i cannot wait until i can see you again,
and until that moment i live better having had you in my family, and having you continue on in my heart.
please watch over me as i keep trying to do what i was put here to do... God bless you Sway, you are the greatest.
>>vetnet
Monday, April 6, 2009
scintigraphy results
unfortunately the scan showed multiple shunts on the outside of her liver, and it has been determined that this would be in-operable...
there is a laundry list of reasons as to why this news was not the news we wanted to hear, but unfortunately these are the cards we have been dealt.
it's very disheartening to know of what will (most likely) result from this, not to mention all our attempts at fixing her AIHA have really been and will continue to be unsuccessful due to the fact that her liver has been rendered an un-used organ.
that is the toughest pill to swallow for sure.
we will keep doing the best that we can do.
there is a laundry list of reasons as to why this news was not the news we wanted to hear, but unfortunately these are the cards we have been dealt.
it's very disheartening to know of what will (most likely) result from this, not to mention all our attempts at fixing her AIHA have really been and will continue to be unsuccessful due to the fact that her liver has been rendered an un-used organ.
that is the toughest pill to swallow for sure.
we will keep doing the best that we can do.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
portosystemic shunts
portosystemic shunts is when an abnormal blood vessel(s) re-direct blood around the liver and directly into systemic circulation (heart).
this diversion leads to a collection of toxins in the blood and potential liver failure.
the way i understand it is that all the nutrients are usually absorbed from the digestive tract and then go straight to the liver for processing.
a shunt diverts the blood away from the liver, so the vital food nutrients are not absorbed and used.
in addition, the shunted blood is not 'cleaned' or detoxified by the liver, and these waste products recirculate again and again.
all of this adds up to increased loads on the other organs, which would explain the kidney and bladder inflammation.
there are 2 kinds of shunts-
congenital (extrahepatic) - usually single shunts, found outside of the liver.
acquired (intrahepatic) - usually multiple shunts, found within the liver.
apparently the single shunts can be surgically tied off and have a very high rate of success...
the acquired shunts present a much more difficult road, as they are within the actual liver and there is usually more than 1.
from everything i've heard thus far, it is most likely that 'acquired' is the type sway has...
some of the symptoms of this condition are:
non-regenerative anemia w/ microcytosis (which sway has)
anorexia (which sway has)
elevated ALT (which sway has)
dilute urine (which sway has)
elevated ALP, white blood cell count, liver enzymes, bile acids (which sway has), blood ammonia
hypocholesterolemia, hypoalbuminemia, hypoglobulinemia
some of the clinical signs are:
drinking/urinating too much (sway has)
poor weight gain (sway has)
stunted growth (sway has)
excessive sleeping/lethargy (sway has)
diarrhea (sway has)
straining to urinate
blindness/seizures
pressing head against wall (she does this sometimes)
pacing and aimless wandering (sway does this)
abnormal behavior after eating
the first step in diagnosing this is to have a bile acid test done...
i had this test administered at hemopet on monday and the results are already back-
the numbers showed that there is a very significant problem in the liver.
her pre-food result was 79.7 (normal range 0-12)
her post-food result was 111.9 (normal range 5-25)
dr. dodds then arranged for sway to get a scintigraphy scan over at the medical imaging center in tustin...
this is being done as i type this, as i dropped her off before i came into work today.
it involves placing a radioactive 'dye' into the intestine and then recording the route of dye absorption.
in a normal animal the dye is absorbed into circulation and moved to the liver.
in an animal with a portosystemic shunt, the dye bypasses the liver and appears in the heart.
the procedure is performed without sedation or anesthesia and only takes a few minutes...
she needs to stay at the facility all day though as to let the radioactive material pass through her system.
this should provide a far more detailed idea as to what we are up against, whether a surgery is necessary or even possible.
needless to say, my emotions are all over the place.
i'm elated that we might have finally found A REASON WHY we've had such a difficult time over the past year and a half.
i'm scared that sway is so far beyond 'a normal case' that any surgery would put her life in jeopardy.
i'm elated that sway could eventually get her liver function back and face AIHA with a full set of tools.
...the possibilities,
sway has been living with AIHA for 22 months now and who knows how much of that was spent with a compromised liver.
that means all the treatments, medications, supplements she was getting...might not of even been absorbed at all!
i am committed to going the distance in the name of my dogs restored health.
and i'm just praying for some clarity soon.
scan results could be in tomorrow,
this diversion leads to a collection of toxins in the blood and potential liver failure.
the way i understand it is that all the nutrients are usually absorbed from the digestive tract and then go straight to the liver for processing.
a shunt diverts the blood away from the liver, so the vital food nutrients are not absorbed and used.
in addition, the shunted blood is not 'cleaned' or detoxified by the liver, and these waste products recirculate again and again.
all of this adds up to increased loads on the other organs, which would explain the kidney and bladder inflammation.
there are 2 kinds of shunts-
congenital (extrahepatic) - usually single shunts, found outside of the liver.
acquired (intrahepatic) - usually multiple shunts, found within the liver.
apparently the single shunts can be surgically tied off and have a very high rate of success...
the acquired shunts present a much more difficult road, as they are within the actual liver and there is usually more than 1.
from everything i've heard thus far, it is most likely that 'acquired' is the type sway has...
some of the symptoms of this condition are:
non-regenerative anemia w/ microcytosis (which sway has)
anorexia (which sway has)
elevated ALT (which sway has)
dilute urine (which sway has)
elevated ALP, white blood cell count, liver enzymes, bile acids (which sway has), blood ammonia
hypocholesterolemia, hypoalbuminemia, hypoglobulinemia
some of the clinical signs are:
drinking/urinating too much (sway has)
poor weight gain (sway has)
stunted growth (sway has)
excessive sleeping/lethargy (sway has)
diarrhea (sway has)
straining to urinate
blindness/seizures
pressing head against wall (she does this sometimes)
pacing and aimless wandering (sway does this)
abnormal behavior after eating
the first step in diagnosing this is to have a bile acid test done...
i had this test administered at hemopet on monday and the results are already back-
the numbers showed that there is a very significant problem in the liver.
her pre-food result was 79.7 (normal range 0-12)
her post-food result was 111.9 (normal range 5-25)
dr. dodds then arranged for sway to get a scintigraphy scan over at the medical imaging center in tustin...
this is being done as i type this, as i dropped her off before i came into work today.
it involves placing a radioactive 'dye' into the intestine and then recording the route of dye absorption.
in a normal animal the dye is absorbed into circulation and moved to the liver.
in an animal with a portosystemic shunt, the dye bypasses the liver and appears in the heart.
the procedure is performed without sedation or anesthesia and only takes a few minutes...
she needs to stay at the facility all day though as to let the radioactive material pass through her system.
this should provide a far more detailed idea as to what we are up against, whether a surgery is necessary or even possible.
needless to say, my emotions are all over the place.
i'm elated that we might have finally found A REASON WHY we've had such a difficult time over the past year and a half.
i'm scared that sway is so far beyond 'a normal case' that any surgery would put her life in jeopardy.
i'm elated that sway could eventually get her liver function back and face AIHA with a full set of tools.
...the possibilities,
sway has been living with AIHA for 22 months now and who knows how much of that was spent with a compromised liver.
that means all the treatments, medications, supplements she was getting...might not of even been absorbed at all!
i am committed to going the distance in the name of my dogs restored health.
and i'm just praying for some clarity soon.
scan results could be in tomorrow,
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
ultra sound results
sways ultra sound was given on march 14th and showed what looked to be a 'shunt in her liver'
dr. woods said it could potentially be diverting large amounts of her blood flow and definitely not allowing for proper absorption...
he told me this could be very, very significant or perhaps not so much...and that we would need to do a bile acid test to confirm an abnormal liver function.
he also told me that her bladder and kidneys were both pretty inflamed, basically concluding that her immune system is incredibly out of whack.
later that night i got an email from patrice...
she had just read my lastest update and mentioned that she had told me way back in november about 'portosystemic shunts' and that i should ask my vet about sway potentially having one...
i then realized that i did indeed ask, and at that time i was told that it was a good question but 'wasn't very likely'
at that time some people on the vetnet board also quickly refuted patrice for even suggesting it, i remember that as well.
...this all came rushing back to me at that moment and to be honest i was pretty stunned.
to be clear...this is at no fault to my vet, as sways case has been incredibly difficult and everyone is doing the absolute best they can, i know that and greatly appreciate the efforts that have been put forth.
but still, i couldn't help but be stunned when i finally made the connection in my own head.
i spent the rest of the night reading and reading and reading and reading and reading up on this condition.
dr. woods said it could potentially be diverting large amounts of her blood flow and definitely not allowing for proper absorption...
he told me this could be very, very significant or perhaps not so much...and that we would need to do a bile acid test to confirm an abnormal liver function.
he also told me that her bladder and kidneys were both pretty inflamed, basically concluding that her immune system is incredibly out of whack.
later that night i got an email from patrice...
she had just read my lastest update and mentioned that she had told me way back in november about 'portosystemic shunts' and that i should ask my vet about sway potentially having one...
i then realized that i did indeed ask, and at that time i was told that it was a good question but 'wasn't very likely'
at that time some people on the vetnet board also quickly refuted patrice for even suggesting it, i remember that as well.
...this all came rushing back to me at that moment and to be honest i was pretty stunned.
to be clear...this is at no fault to my vet, as sways case has been incredibly difficult and everyone is doing the absolute best they can, i know that and greatly appreciate the efforts that have been put forth.
but still, i couldn't help but be stunned when i finally made the connection in my own head.
i spent the rest of the night reading and reading and reading and reading and reading up on this condition.
another ultra sound
dr. dodds suggested we do another ultrasound, as sway last had one in late 2007.
if that were to reveal that everything was okay then she said we should consider stopping the nandrolone-
could the long term administration of nandrolone be a reason for sways cachexia? not sure.
the only thing i know for sure is that it definitely is the anchor that's held her blood count steady...
so potentially stopping it means we are walking a very fine line.
if the ultrasound were to reveal something new or significant, then that would point the direction of her future treatment.
if that were to reveal that everything was okay then she said we should consider stopping the nandrolone-
could the long term administration of nandrolone be a reason for sways cachexia? not sure.
the only thing i know for sure is that it definitely is the anchor that's held her blood count steady...
so potentially stopping it means we are walking a very fine line.
if the ultrasound were to reveal something new or significant, then that would point the direction of her future treatment.
frustration sets in sometimes
the first week of march i was about at my breaking point.
sway had a severe, severe case of AIHA/IMHA...
now a confirmed case of SIBO as well...
and the unsolved symptoms/visually looking exactly like an EPI dog on top of everything else.
only problem is that the EPI tests come back stating there is no EPI.
matter a fact it stated that the test was completely in the opposite range of EPI, instead bordering on either pancreatitis/renal dysfunction/or severe malnutrition.
--
my dog eats every single night, yet cannot gain a single damn pound!!!!!!!!!!!!!
when i take her outside some people might look at me as if i starve and abuse her.
not that i care what other people think, but the scenario is unsettling regardless...
i have no answers as to what is happening to her, 3 great doctors, no answers.
and she just looks so incredibly bad.
i'm tired of her looking so bad and compromised.
she looks far worse now, than she did 6 months after being diagnosed...
no answers.
i mean, we are 21 months into this thing...
her blood count hasn't recovered but (aside from this recent drop) has remained a steady 20-28% for nearly the last 15 months...
how can her body not physically recover after 15 months????
it's not like she is on high doses of meds,
she is not.
the only hard med she is on is a very minimal dose of prednisone, and that is every other day.
she gets soloxine daily, and then her nandrolone injection weekly.
the rest of the additives are supplements.
there is no explainable reason as to why her body is like it is.
the biggest knife in the heart is that i feel like it's something that hasnt been addressed yet...and it's just flying under the radar and i absolutely feel guilty that i don't know what it is.
i was almost praying IT WAS EPI, how horrible does that sound?
but atleast i could then say, AH!! that is the reason her body is so broken and begin to get to the bottom of treating it as dillegently as possible...
i mean, you can just search 'EPI images' and swap sways picture in for any of the dogs that come up and she might even look worse...
i'm just so angry.
i'm financially on the verge of bankruptcy...
i fought it off once, and here i am again, on that ledge...
but i'm fine to stay on the ledge, i'd accept being broke as hell for the next 20 years as long as i can just get some clarity as to why this is happening!!
sway is such an amazing dog.
God i love her so much.
i tell her allllll the time that things will get better, we are going to beat this thing...
and she has been amazing, she is incredible.
she has such a spirit, her eyes are my favorite thing in the whole world.
i know she's with me, i just wish her body would catch up to her...it's a travesty.
it's like we have just been thru a monster of a tornado...
and now, yes...we are physically out of the actual funnel cloud, but we are still living in the house that was ravaged by the tornado, and we can still visually see it causing destruction down the street.
that is how i feel.
--
i vented this at the vetnet forum and i thought i'd put it here too.
it's just frustration, but it's a real emotion and i don't want to under-sell how overwhelming this disease can potentially be.
i pray that nobody has to go thru this long of a rollercoaster ride, but if you ever do, allow me to be an advocate for you...
feel free to email me anytime because i'm going thru it.
being able to vent does sort of allow you to push the reset button, so sometimes you just need to talk it out with yourself, compose and then keep moving forward.
i'm fully committed to my dogs recaptured good health and will not allow any setback get me down for too long, but it does still happen...just know how to put it into perspective and mold that energy into something positive.
sway had a severe, severe case of AIHA/IMHA...
now a confirmed case of SIBO as well...
and the unsolved symptoms/visually looking exactly like an EPI dog on top of everything else.
only problem is that the EPI tests come back stating there is no EPI.
matter a fact it stated that the test was completely in the opposite range of EPI, instead bordering on either pancreatitis/renal dysfunction/or severe malnutrition.
--
my dog eats every single night, yet cannot gain a single damn pound!!!!!!!!!!!!!
when i take her outside some people might look at me as if i starve and abuse her.
not that i care what other people think, but the scenario is unsettling regardless...
i have no answers as to what is happening to her, 3 great doctors, no answers.
and she just looks so incredibly bad.
i'm tired of her looking so bad and compromised.
she looks far worse now, than she did 6 months after being diagnosed...
no answers.
i mean, we are 21 months into this thing...
her blood count hasn't recovered but (aside from this recent drop) has remained a steady 20-28% for nearly the last 15 months...
how can her body not physically recover after 15 months????
it's not like she is on high doses of meds,
she is not.
the only hard med she is on is a very minimal dose of prednisone, and that is every other day.
she gets soloxine daily, and then her nandrolone injection weekly.
the rest of the additives are supplements.
there is no explainable reason as to why her body is like it is.
the biggest knife in the heart is that i feel like it's something that hasnt been addressed yet...and it's just flying under the radar and i absolutely feel guilty that i don't know what it is.
i was almost praying IT WAS EPI, how horrible does that sound?
but atleast i could then say, AH!! that is the reason her body is so broken and begin to get to the bottom of treating it as dillegently as possible...
i mean, you can just search 'EPI images' and swap sways picture in for any of the dogs that come up and she might even look worse...
i'm just so angry.
i'm financially on the verge of bankruptcy...
i fought it off once, and here i am again, on that ledge...
but i'm fine to stay on the ledge, i'd accept being broke as hell for the next 20 years as long as i can just get some clarity as to why this is happening!!
sway is such an amazing dog.
God i love her so much.
i tell her allllll the time that things will get better, we are going to beat this thing...
and she has been amazing, she is incredible.
she has such a spirit, her eyes are my favorite thing in the whole world.
i know she's with me, i just wish her body would catch up to her...it's a travesty.
it's like we have just been thru a monster of a tornado...
and now, yes...we are physically out of the actual funnel cloud, but we are still living in the house that was ravaged by the tornado, and we can still visually see it causing destruction down the street.
that is how i feel.
--
i vented this at the vetnet forum and i thought i'd put it here too.
it's just frustration, but it's a real emotion and i don't want to under-sell how overwhelming this disease can potentially be.
i pray that nobody has to go thru this long of a rollercoaster ride, but if you ever do, allow me to be an advocate for you...
feel free to email me anytime because i'm going thru it.
being able to vent does sort of allow you to push the reset button, so sometimes you just need to talk it out with yourself, compose and then keep moving forward.
i'm fully committed to my dogs recaptured good health and will not allow any setback get me down for too long, but it does still happen...just know how to put it into perspective and mold that energy into something positive.
Monday, March 23, 2009
another PCV drop, transfusion, TLI results
her blood draw on the 24th of january revealed only a 17% (down from 26% 3 weeks earlier)
the next week on the 31st she was down to 15%
this was pretty devastating as she had been holding in the mid 20's for a long long while.
we had to transfuse her on february 3rd and 2 weeks later her PCV only revealed a 16%
this was her 9th blood transfusion and first since 2007...
very sad that we could potentially be back to that.
on the 14th i upped her prednisone from 2.5mg EOD to 5mg EOD.
(the standard processing supplements were started on the 3rd of feb.)
the daily problem i wrestled with was that i couldn't continue 'being patient' when sway was just wasting away in front of me...
my vets did not think she had EPI but i wanted to officially test her for it as i just needed to know one way or the other,
...sway is such a champ and loving life thru such multi-faceted dire conditions, but her anorexia is just a daily devastation.
on february 21 she was given a 3-part blood test (trypsin-like immunoreact) to confirm-deny an EPI diagnosis.
when the results came back the numbers showed it was not EPI, however the folate portion did officially diagnose sway with SIBO...
this is all so frustrating.
i was positive this was what was co-affecting my girl (in combo with AIHA) - i'm still quite confused that the numbers came back the way they did.
...almost in the exact opposite direction of an EPI diagnosis, instead showing borderline pancreatitis or renal dysfunction.
click here for her TLI results
i am going to keep her on the pancreatic enzymes for now, as i hope they are helping in digestion.
she is still on her weekly steroid injection.
i've also re-started the b12 and iron injections that she was getting every 3 weeks thruout most of 2008.
this time i'm giving b12 injections every week and phasing down in 6 week intervals.
iron staying tri-weekly.
the next week on the 31st she was down to 15%
this was pretty devastating as she had been holding in the mid 20's for a long long while.
we had to transfuse her on february 3rd and 2 weeks later her PCV only revealed a 16%
this was her 9th blood transfusion and first since 2007...
very sad that we could potentially be back to that.
on the 14th i upped her prednisone from 2.5mg EOD to 5mg EOD.
(the standard processing supplements were started on the 3rd of feb.)
the daily problem i wrestled with was that i couldn't continue 'being patient' when sway was just wasting away in front of me...
my vets did not think she had EPI but i wanted to officially test her for it as i just needed to know one way or the other,
...sway is such a champ and loving life thru such multi-faceted dire conditions, but her anorexia is just a daily devastation.
on february 21 she was given a 3-part blood test (trypsin-like immunoreact) to confirm-deny an EPI diagnosis.
when the results came back the numbers showed it was not EPI, however the folate portion did officially diagnose sway with SIBO...
this is all so frustrating.
i was positive this was what was co-affecting my girl (in combo with AIHA) - i'm still quite confused that the numbers came back the way they did.
...almost in the exact opposite direction of an EPI diagnosis, instead showing borderline pancreatitis or renal dysfunction.
click here for her TLI results
i am going to keep her on the pancreatic enzymes for now, as i hope they are helping in digestion.
she is still on her weekly steroid injection.
i've also re-started the b12 and iron injections that she was getting every 3 weeks thruout most of 2008.
this time i'm giving b12 injections every week and phasing down in 6 week intervals.
iron staying tri-weekly.
Friday, March 13, 2009
standard processing
while i had just started the enzymes, i had also reached out to dr. tom cameron from standard processing.
sway's latest blood count was 26% (and it had been holding mid-20's since june of 2008), so my intention was to phase in something that would basically help her put on some weight.
my email stressed sway's lack of body recovery and like dr. dodds before, he kindly accepted my communication attempt and quickly sent back a 12-18 month nutritional (supplement) agenda that was centered around sway's past history and her current compromised condition.
he said that we need to go back to the beginning.
he said that a common history of animals (and people) with AIHA is a negative reaction to vaccination, or a history of allergies and/or sensitive digestive tract.
he wanted to treat her for negative effects of vaccination (last vac was 2004) and to build up her digestive and immune systems.
he said once we get those 2 systems on solid ground, we could then address her other issues with more success.
he was also very happy to know that dr. dodds was working directly with sway and made a point to say that she couldn't be in any better hands.
these are the supplement suggestions he made-
also included are notes i took when he was explaining them to me...
hopefully they will help clarify what each supplement potentially does.
silicea 200c - this is a homeopathic remedy that stimulates the body to get rid of foreign substances.
vaccines have chemicals and heavy metals in them that lodge in the body causing chronic problems.
this med comes in little sugar crystals that go on the dogs tongue 1x daily.
glutamine 500mg - an amino acid that is critical for GI health.
when there is stress on the tract, the body's need for glutamine rises dramatically.
best given without a meal, 2x daily.
enteric support - standard process support formula.
designed to "normalize" the digestive system, promotes healing, creates a supportive environment for the growth of beneficial gut flora, promotes digestion and absorption of nutrients.
for dogs 20-40lbs = 1/4 tsp 2x daily
immuplex - standard process support product.
formulated to support the various components of the immune system (spleen, thymus, liver, bone marrow, gut flora).
AIHA is an overreaction of the immune system, this supplement looks to support a normal immune response. 2 per day.
catalyn - standard process support product.
provides broad spectrum nutritional support (multi-vitamin, multi-mineral, enzyme, phytonutrient, trace-nutrient) 2 every 12 hours.
dr. dodds & dr. woods were both on board with dr. cameron's suggestions and so they were added to sway's daily routine as of january 31.
dr. cameron explained to me that this process could very well take a year or longer, since we are treating the base of any disease by trying to cultivate a new environment from within her body.
he has been very helpful and very open with his line of communication, going as far as to even request that i call him every couple weeks just to give status updates and go over any progressions or declines.
i appreciate greatly the initiative he has taken, as I don't even know him at all...
just like dr. dodds has always taken initiative with sway and continues to offer her endless resources to me (for going on the last 2 years!)...
...to anyone with a dog going thru AIHA, or any other disease for that matter:
don't be afraid to reach out to people, regardless of how famous or well known in there respected fields they are.
you never know who will actually respond back,
the worst thing that could happen is that you lost 20 minutes of your time by typing up an email...
it absolutely IS worth your time.
sway's latest blood count was 26% (and it had been holding mid-20's since june of 2008), so my intention was to phase in something that would basically help her put on some weight.
my email stressed sway's lack of body recovery and like dr. dodds before, he kindly accepted my communication attempt and quickly sent back a 12-18 month nutritional (supplement) agenda that was centered around sway's past history and her current compromised condition.
he said that we need to go back to the beginning.
he said that a common history of animals (and people) with AIHA is a negative reaction to vaccination, or a history of allergies and/or sensitive digestive tract.
he wanted to treat her for negative effects of vaccination (last vac was 2004) and to build up her digestive and immune systems.
he said once we get those 2 systems on solid ground, we could then address her other issues with more success.
he was also very happy to know that dr. dodds was working directly with sway and made a point to say that she couldn't be in any better hands.
these are the supplement suggestions he made-
also included are notes i took when he was explaining them to me...
hopefully they will help clarify what each supplement potentially does.
silicea 200c - this is a homeopathic remedy that stimulates the body to get rid of foreign substances.
vaccines have chemicals and heavy metals in them that lodge in the body causing chronic problems.
this med comes in little sugar crystals that go on the dogs tongue 1x daily.
glutamine 500mg - an amino acid that is critical for GI health.
when there is stress on the tract, the body's need for glutamine rises dramatically.
best given without a meal, 2x daily.
enteric support - standard process support formula.
designed to "normalize" the digestive system, promotes healing, creates a supportive environment for the growth of beneficial gut flora, promotes digestion and absorption of nutrients.
for dogs 20-40lbs = 1/4 tsp 2x daily
immuplex - standard process support product.
formulated to support the various components of the immune system (spleen, thymus, liver, bone marrow, gut flora).
AIHA is an overreaction of the immune system, this supplement looks to support a normal immune response. 2 per day.
catalyn - standard process support product.
provides broad spectrum nutritional support (multi-vitamin, multi-mineral, enzyme, phytonutrient, trace-nutrient) 2 every 12 hours.
dr. dodds & dr. woods were both on board with dr. cameron's suggestions and so they were added to sway's daily routine as of january 31.
dr. cameron explained to me that this process could very well take a year or longer, since we are treating the base of any disease by trying to cultivate a new environment from within her body.
he has been very helpful and very open with his line of communication, going as far as to even request that i call him every couple weeks just to give status updates and go over any progressions or declines.
i appreciate greatly the initiative he has taken, as I don't even know him at all...
just like dr. dodds has always taken initiative with sway and continues to offer her endless resources to me (for going on the last 2 years!)...
...to anyone with a dog going thru AIHA, or any other disease for that matter:
don't be afraid to reach out to people, regardless of how famous or well known in there respected fields they are.
you never know who will actually respond back,
the worst thing that could happen is that you lost 20 minutes of your time by typing up an email...
it absolutely IS worth your time.
january, treating as EPI also
after stopping the meds, things actually remained steady thru december and there was no dive in her blood count.
her PCV was tested on january 3rd and it was up to 26%, which made me very happy.
the constant peeing had also been drastically reduced and it was almost like she regained control of her bladder completely.
her body frame however remained fragile, and so that remained the highest of priority for me.
first thing we did in our attempt to counter this was run a SNAP 4DX test...
this checks for heartworm, ehrlichia canis, lyme disease and anaplasma phagocytophilum...
these results came back clear of any red flags.
we then did a dry food change, this did not help either.
patrice helped me out a lot in gathering information for a condition called EPI (extreme pancreatic deficiency)
looking at pictures of dogs that have this condition is exactly like just simply looking at sway.
they are identical in view, from the sunken skulls, to the fully exposed rib cages, the exposed spinal line all the way down to the sharp hip bones and compromised muscle mass.
as soon as i saw the information about this condition, i was 95% sure this had to be something that was happening to sway too.
my vets did not agree but i wanted to start her on the treatment for it anyways, as there was no downside to it.
the treatment itself consisted of mixing pancreatic enzymes into sway's food and allowing time for the enzymes to break the food down before sway ate.
this process is intended to allow for better overall absorption of food...
we started the enzymes (bio case) on january 18th.
her PCV was tested on january 3rd and it was up to 26%, which made me very happy.
the constant peeing had also been drastically reduced and it was almost like she regained control of her bladder completely.
her body frame however remained fragile, and so that remained the highest of priority for me.
first thing we did in our attempt to counter this was run a SNAP 4DX test...
this checks for heartworm, ehrlichia canis, lyme disease and anaplasma phagocytophilum...
these results came back clear of any red flags.
we then did a dry food change, this did not help either.
patrice helped me out a lot in gathering information for a condition called EPI (extreme pancreatic deficiency)
looking at pictures of dogs that have this condition is exactly like just simply looking at sway.
they are identical in view, from the sunken skulls, to the fully exposed rib cages, the exposed spinal line all the way down to the sharp hip bones and compromised muscle mass.
as soon as i saw the information about this condition, i was 95% sure this had to be something that was happening to sway too.
my vets did not agree but i wanted to start her on the treatment for it anyways, as there was no downside to it.
the treatment itself consisted of mixing pancreatic enzymes into sway's food and allowing time for the enzymes to break the food down before sway ate.
this process is intended to allow for better overall absorption of food...
we started the enzymes (bio case) on january 18th.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
oct - dec 2008
so at this point diabetes insipidus was the diagnosed culprit to her extreme peeing and water in-take.
she was having multiple messes per day in the house, through no fault of her own, but it was a cycle of lots to drink, and then that having to come out...and very frequently.
the medication involved a water-like solution that was dropped into the white of her eyes daily...
this seemed to help assist with her control over the constant urination, which was great because these drops were very expensive so atleast they actually helped a little.
the most glaring day to day issue was the deterioration of sway's actual body, lack of recovery, however you'd like to term it...
this was my main concern then and still is as i type this, and i've really tried so many different things in the span of these last 5 months.
i'll detail these things in the next post...
anyways, in mid-november my sister was having her wedding so i traveled home to ohio for the first time in over 4 years...
sway had to stay at a daycare and there was a dr. that came very highly recommended by dr. woods, her name was tara haddad.
this was pretty scary for me considering sway's compromised condition, on top of such an in-depth disease..but after meeting with her she put my mind at ease and off i went back home.
sway actually did really good while i was gone, and a memory i'll always cherish forever is coming back in to pick her up...
as soon as she saw me she started jumping up and down, (or attempting to)
...jumping isn't something she's had the strength to do since being diagnosed with AIHA so i could tell that she was just so excited to see me, and the feeling was 110% mutual!!!
during the next few weeks her PCV remained in the low 20's, but her body just continued to waste away.
after months of this body reversal i was becoming very, very concerned.
she was down to 24 lbs and just extraordinarily skinny.
i made the decision to pull her off of all meds and supplements...
we would be ending her low EOD dose of pred, soloxine, tylosin powder, cranberry extract, pet-tinic, b12 etc...
the only thing i kept her on was her weekly nandrolone injection, which was a given considering it had been her count anchor since being introduced to us in 07.
i wanted very badly to find out what was causing her cachexia/body wasting so i stripped it all out and just planned to re-add as i saw fit depending on her condition going forward...
i know a few of you may think that was a risky choice, but let me explain-
a few months after being diagnosed in 07, her body quickly went down to the lowest of depths possible...
as covered in this blog, this was due to the overwhelming amounts of medications she was initially on, on top of the disease and her other trials and tribulations.
when these doses were drastically reduced, sways body slowly began to recover (well into 2008), to the point where she almost looked relatively normal (except for her head, which has yet to fill back out).
but as time continued to go on, her body began to digress...
she became skinnier and skinnier, was still moving around well etc, but visually some mornings she looked like a walking skeleton.
these images will show how her body revealed a downward turn after the first half of 2008-
since her count was still holding in the mid 20's i really thought this was just something that had to be done, as i couldn't just sit there and watch my dog waste away in front of me.
so with that, all medications were stopped (except anabolic steroid)...
i wanted to find the reason for this,
she was having multiple messes per day in the house, through no fault of her own, but it was a cycle of lots to drink, and then that having to come out...and very frequently.
the medication involved a water-like solution that was dropped into the white of her eyes daily...
this seemed to help assist with her control over the constant urination, which was great because these drops were very expensive so atleast they actually helped a little.
the most glaring day to day issue was the deterioration of sway's actual body, lack of recovery, however you'd like to term it...
this was my main concern then and still is as i type this, and i've really tried so many different things in the span of these last 5 months.
i'll detail these things in the next post...
anyways, in mid-november my sister was having her wedding so i traveled home to ohio for the first time in over 4 years...
sway had to stay at a daycare and there was a dr. that came very highly recommended by dr. woods, her name was tara haddad.
this was pretty scary for me considering sway's compromised condition, on top of such an in-depth disease..but after meeting with her she put my mind at ease and off i went back home.
sway actually did really good while i was gone, and a memory i'll always cherish forever is coming back in to pick her up...
as soon as she saw me she started jumping up and down, (or attempting to)
...jumping isn't something she's had the strength to do since being diagnosed with AIHA so i could tell that she was just so excited to see me, and the feeling was 110% mutual!!!
during the next few weeks her PCV remained in the low 20's, but her body just continued to waste away.
after months of this body reversal i was becoming very, very concerned.
she was down to 24 lbs and just extraordinarily skinny.
i made the decision to pull her off of all meds and supplements...
we would be ending her low EOD dose of pred, soloxine, tylosin powder, cranberry extract, pet-tinic, b12 etc...
the only thing i kept her on was her weekly nandrolone injection, which was a given considering it had been her count anchor since being introduced to us in 07.
i wanted very badly to find out what was causing her cachexia/body wasting so i stripped it all out and just planned to re-add as i saw fit depending on her condition going forward...
i know a few of you may think that was a risky choice, but let me explain-
a few months after being diagnosed in 07, her body quickly went down to the lowest of depths possible...
as covered in this blog, this was due to the overwhelming amounts of medications she was initially on, on top of the disease and her other trials and tribulations.
when these doses were drastically reduced, sways body slowly began to recover (well into 2008), to the point where she almost looked relatively normal (except for her head, which has yet to fill back out).
but as time continued to go on, her body began to digress...
she became skinnier and skinnier, was still moving around well etc, but visually some mornings she looked like a walking skeleton.
these images will show how her body revealed a downward turn after the first half of 2008-
since her count was still holding in the mid 20's i really thought this was just something that had to be done, as i couldn't just sit there and watch my dog waste away in front of me.
so with that, all medications were stopped (except anabolic steroid)...
i wanted to find the reason for this,
my lack of updating
i want to apologize for my lack of updating...
everything has been overwhelming me to the point where i've just fallen out of cycle in a lot of different areas.
i have been updating threads at the vetnet forum however, so i'm going to use the next couple posts to just bring everyone up to speed on how sway is doing...
everything has been overwhelming me to the point where i've just fallen out of cycle in a lot of different areas.
i have been updating threads at the vetnet forum however, so i'm going to use the next couple posts to just bring everyone up to speed on how sway is doing...
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