regeneration?

sway has been pretty even keel since my last post about her standing up.....
shes eating well and continuing to improve in many different aspects.

on saturday we had a full blood panel done, as well as another urinalysis in order to test the levels of her protein leak.
i received the results last night and am damn happy to report that not only is she still holding onto a 23%, but her retic count is up to 7.24!
that is key because a # that high shows the bone marrow has started regenerating its own cells...
its still a guarded optimism (due to the PCV being the same), but after 5 difficult months this is the start of what ive been praying to seeeee.

not only that, but the new urinalysis showed the protein leak has been drastically reduced.
...meannnnnnnning the looming fear of kidney failure is no longer blinking red and in my face!

oh yea, and she gained 4 pounds :)
at this point my only prayer revolves around seeing that PCV go uppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp

my verse on wonderwall...

is about finding sway,
i just recorded it about 2 hours ago.
check it out, its the song that plays automatically when visiting this page.
the version i recorded on is a cover of "wonderwall" sung by ryan adams ... the original was done by oasis.
liam gallagher (lead singer of oasis) said the song is about an imaginary friend who's gonna come and save you from yourself.
its one of my favorite tracks ever so i had to put a verse on the front of it.

standing up

is what sway did today!
i dont know how ... but when i went home for lunch she had completely moved to the other room and was laying on the floor mattress.
there is no other way she could have gotten there.
this is a huge deal because she hasnt been able to get herself up from a laying position in almost a month.
i walked in and was immediately overjoyed when i saw where she was at.
she was also very receptive to my excitement...tail wagging, etc.
i really believe she knows she achieved something significant, its grrrrrrrrreat to see her body finally giving her a break!

a little strength returning

first off, sways PCV was around 22% on saturday.
its still holding in the general area so thats very promising.
we WERE going thru transfusions on a weekly basis so the current holding pattern has really been a blessing.
as of today it has been 26 days since her last blood transfusion...

within the last 48 hours she's started to eat alot better as well.
i took sway to dr. woods' office on wednesday (durabolin shot) and they were all very happy to see her walking around on her own power and showing the curiousity to inspect the food hallway.

you can tell that some of her strength is slowly returning...
its very subtle but she is now able to support herself when she walks down a decline, and for the most part she can turn without her legs buckling.
her walk is still rather slow, but its a revelation compared to where she was.
i might post a video of her walking tonight, its inspiring to watch her bouncing back in any form.

still makes me stress...

sway continues to have a love/hate relationship with her foods...
its challenging and envokes alot of worry when she refuses to eat for days at a time.
she was refusing again yesterday but to my suprise today she ate and wouldnt stop.
hot dogs, AD & yogurt, all down the hatch.
it really seems like they relate foods to how they are feeling that day, and if a pill or a certain medication makes them feel bad, they begin to deny that food with which it came.
mixing the options up is a way to stay ahead of the curve, and doesnt allow the animal to single out any specific food for denial.
thats the advice i was given & thats how it seems to be going with sway.

my friend patrice and i have been emailing back and forth about how our dogs are doing, and she sent along a really appropriate quote that could be applied to any kind of setback...
its good-

Courage need not Roar. Sometimes it's the quiet voice at day's end saying "I will try again tomorrow"

poem sent to me

someone online made my day this morning...
this is a poem that someone wrote for me & sway :)
good stuff, i know!
its from a member of pets.ca who had been following our thread, and very cool of them to write this for us.
thank you.

I have been following this thread and just today read your blog,
I Don't cry easy, But your blog brought overwhelming tears,
There is no words I can say to express my admiration for you and your beautiful Puppy,
You both are truly an exception pair,
Something I wrote for you and *Sway*
You both won my heart.

My shining light of Love

From riches to rags and rags to riches
I walked my path for all to see
I begged and pleaded, whimpered and cried,
You heard me not
As you rested contently upon your pillow
I shivered in the cold

Thru the mists and winds of many raging storms
I dreamed of hope, love.
Caste out in a world so big
In desperation I searched,
My heart was breaking.

My eyes lifted
Before me a stranger,
An outstretched hand
Trust me you said

I released my restrains
You said forever,
Come rest upon my Love
A heart so true,

You are my strength,
That’s always there.

Thru trial & many tribulations
We held tight to each other

Together we will always be

You will know us
By our name

VICTORY

scares happen...

i had one last night.
maybe not the hugest concern, but if you knew my dog like i do then this was a pretty big problem under the circumstances.

we had been rolling for 7 days now, literally almost flawless in our attempts to dodge any setbacks.
...well, until tuesday morning, and sway deciding (again) that she was no longer going to eat.
ok, that was cool, it was the morning and i was rushing to work.
when i came back for lunch, tried again, ... she still would not touch the same stuff she had gulped down 3x daily during the previous week.
this was a big deal because she is so frail to begin with...
if she starts refusing food then we could have a repeat of what played out 2 weeks ago.
(5+ days of no eating, mega weakness, feeding tube, etc.)
after work, i had to pull out the big guns, so i cooked sway a steak...
she had to eat that right? of course not.
she wouldnt touch it.

i was fearing that we were tipping the iceberg,
then i woke up this morning and she was all about eating first thing...
& she did, ate like a charm.

i guess what i am trying to say is, practice patience...
im not very patient to begin with so this issue was something that had me worrying.
its a very tough thing when you are dealing with something as multi-dimensional as AIHA, and then you see red flags that could potentially snowball ... devastating all her efforts from the past week in the process.
luckily, it was okay and things worked themselves out.

now, i also want to say that you should try and be as pro-active as possible in your approach to all things related to an AIHA dog,
but its a balancing act ... sometimes it could hurt your cause more than help if you freak out too quickly and overreact.
scares will happen.
just try to remain on an even keel ... you know your dog better than anyone else does, so react accordingly.
im just glad sway started eating man...

bone marrow = no cancer.

we went into vca for a checkup today...
while there they also told me that they had the results from the bone marrow aspirate.

good news x2...
sway is STILL holding onto her 24% RBC.
...and the bone marrow tap revealed that cancer is 'highly unlikely'
thank God.
this pretty much confirms that there is no regeneration happening at the bone marrow level, but rules out leukemia as the reason.
i can deal with that, and i have faith that in time (and the help of durabolin) those cells will begin to regenerate.
this is a good day.
oh yea, sway also got her feeding tube out!
with & without...

steady transition

she came home with the feeding tube still in her nose...
it allowed me to atleast get something down her if she chose not to eat again.

as far as her meds are concerned,
prednisone was decreased from 20mg 2x daily, to 10mg 1x daily.
imuran was stopped completely.
cyclosporine was changed from 100mg 1x daily, to 50mg 2x daily.

tuesday night was easy but wednesday morning she vomited in her sleep...
luckily i was sleeping right next to her and was able to take care of it.
i called off work because she was still unable to stand or even move herself much,
and with that kind of vomit it really becomes scary because you dont want her to choke in it.
she vomited a 2nd time hours later but continued to eat on her own as well...

thursday i went to work and when i came home for lunch she had threw up again.
this time she managed to roll herself away from it and was sitting up staring as i came thru the door.
she is definately getting stronger, little subtle things are beginning to stand out.

friday we had no accidents, and she seems to be holding her food down quite well.
she is eating the mini cans of hills AD, usually 3-4 times daily and seems to enjoy it.
i usually add a half teaspoon of 'pet tinic' in with her food twice daily.
she also had a healthy stool for the first time in weeks :)

saturday she did well yet again...
no vomiting, consistent eating and those big bright eyes reminding me everyday that following your heart is the way to go!

coming home!!!

i just got word that i can pick sway up from the hospital and bring her home :)
she is still holding that 20+ count,
in addition she has started to eat on her own.
my hero!

toughest, emotional weekend

september 28 - sway spent friday at dr. woods' office receiving fluids & plasma, she was incredibly weak.
i would pick her up after work and she would stay at home with me until the next morning. she was still refusing food, she could not stand & could barely support the weight from her own head.
thursdays mess, coupled with her anemia was really taking its toll.

each day when picking her up, dr. woods would speak to me and the outlook was obviously not very optimistic...
this was clear, but he would still take the time to throw around ideas and scenarios, while maintaining frankness.
he would tell me that he didnt have a good feeling about this one, but at the end of the day would still respect my view and make it known we could keep going.
this is why i am lucky...that is what you want in a vet. someone that is straight forward, listens, provides ideas and clearly has an emotional investment in the pet...
his office clearly does, and i could see that it hurt him and his staff to know that sway was doing so poorly.

friday afternoon he had highlighted his fear that a leukemia might be the culprit.
we had so many hurdles and others were seeming to pop up in addition...
the auto immune hemolitic anemia, the side effects from meds, the breaking down of sways body, the weakness, now she wasnt eating (+4 days), and was refusing all meds by mouth...
on top of this was the revelation that thursdays episode was most likely some form of a stroke brought on by heat or a blood clot.
and then the mention of cancer just doomed the entire situation.
i left his office on friday not knowing what i was going to do.
the only thing i did know was that i wanted to spend the next 12 hours with sway and make sure she knew how much i loved her.

friday night was emotionally the toughest night of my entire life.
some say she is "just a dog," or "then you must live an easy life..."
...these type of people are in extreme contrast to someone like myself.
have i been thru tough things? sure...
the divorce of my parents,
great relationships with a few nameless girls ending in heartbreak,
the cross country move from my home in ohio to california, by myself...& did i mention i had no job or any place to stay when i got there?
the next 3 years hacking it in a place where the cost to live is unbelievably high.
and dont forget the fact that i had to leave my entire family and all of my lifelong friends in the process...
i havent been home in 2 years, i havent even seen my twin neices in person yet.
this type of seperation from everything you "knew" causes a great amount of hurt on someone from an emotional standpoint, atleast with me it did...
...i dont say these things to talk up what ive been through, but rather to underline how important sway is to me.
i HAVE been thru some things...but trust me, this night was emotionally my toughest, ever, and i can say that with certainty. my heart was broken.

sway IS my family here...she is all i have and i love her with everything i got.
ive had family pets my entire life, but she was the first that i was solely responsible for...
6 years ago i found her abandoned as a puppy and she has been MY family ever since.
the thought of actually putting her down was unexplainable.
this fear had consumed my mind for months, the 'what ifs' and all that...but for the first time, i questioned whether i was doing the right thing by keeping her alive, and had to literally face the possibility of making that choice.
i spent 2 hours on the phone with my mom, and i cried more then than i have in years.
you can cry, and then you can have one of those cleansing cries...this shit was a cleansing cry.
i was a wreck, but i needed that talk and i thank my mom for it.
truth be told, i was more than likely going to put my girl down...i didnt want her to suffer for 1 second and the fear that something like thursday could happen again while i was at work, and that sway would die alone, was overwhelming. i WANTED to be there if and when she passed. this was a MUST.

september 29 - at about 4am that morning me and sway went to the beach...
i had no idea what i was going to do but i wanted to spend that time just talking to her and clearing my head in the process.
she always loved the beach, and we went out there and sat in the dark.
i had to carry her since she couldnt walk, but it was a good time and sway was alert.
thats the thing...even as her body was breaking down, from the shoulders up she was slowly improving and she was receptive as could be.
this is a picture i took of us @ the beach...


i chose to take her back in for another day of fluids.
dr. woods agreed that she looked brighter & she spent all day getting more plasma etc.
when i picked her up we had another in depth discussion about her condition...
he again underlined his fear that leukemia could be at the center of this, and told me straight that if i chose to go forward she would need hospitalized just to get her thru the weekend.
the bright spot was that, even with all of these issues crashing down on us, her PCV was holding strong at 20.
...that, along with the fact that i had a consultation with dr. dodds on monday was driving home the urge to still fight.
sways spirit was alive, but her body was like a starving child from a 3rd world country...
doc was clear that if we were to give sway a punchers chance of overcoming anything, she would need to be hospitalized the entire weekend...
this meant going to VCA and spending over a $1000 a day...
knowing my financial situation he was concerned that if leukemia was revealed to be in the bone marrow, we would then be up against nearly impossible odds.
...but if this was something that i had to do, take her and hospitalize her, and lets all cross our fingers.
it was pretty clear that laying inbetween didnt make any sense for sway, we needed to go to superhuman levels and get her thru this weekend in blind faith, or simply put her down by allowing her to pass.

my heart said she can do this, she is trying hard, she has plenty of life left, faith is a strange thing but i trusted it.
even tho i am currently pretty faaar in debt, $ was not playing a part in this decision.
i have 4 credit cards and 1 was blank...
if i had to max it out to give her 1 last shot i would.
it was almost like if i didnt then i wouldnt be able to live with myself, and each person will have to work these issues out within themselves...
i chose to take her into vca for the weekend, and dr. woods immediately shifted into the mode of steering the ship...
he gave me a blood sample and prepped me for what to expect, then called over and spoke to one of the doctors personally to bring them up to speed with sways case.
dr. woods is a great vet!!! and i cant emphasize enough on how key having one you trust is in battling this disease.

leaving the office, it was literally like a do or die feeling...
i knew this weekend would either be a turning point, or potentially sways last.

when we got to vca sway was weighed in at 27 pounds...
she had slowly been losing weight but no number stuck out to me like that moment did.
this was a 40 pound pit bull just 6 months ago.
they immediately took her back to start fluids and hemit, & i left there with a broken heart and hope that God would work a miracle.

september 30 - when i came back to visit the next day, her PCV was still holding steady :)
21, 20, 21, 25 (what???)...she is an impressive lil' girl.
it had risen on its own for the first time in almost 4 months.
i spoke at length with the primary vet overlooking sways care, dr. jane armstrong.
she provided some guarded optimism but my dog was VERY sick and there was no way to sugarcoat that.
another full blood panel was taken and the results would be back on monday...
when i went back to visit her at night her ears and gums were flush with a red glow :)


october 1 - monday came and sway was still in the hospital...
i was at work and about an hour before my consultation with jean dodds i got a call from dr. armstrong.
the blood panel was back and sway was still holding on to her RBC count.
bad thing was that she was leaking tons of protein into her urine.
sway had a UPC rating of 22% (a normal dog should be below 0.)
dr. armstrong informed me that damage to the kidneys seemed evident and this was usually something that happens prior to going into full renal failure.
if this happens to be the case, the prognosis given to me was 2-6 months...
ouch. what a blow from the blind spot.
hurt again and again, its a rollercoaster.

i finally got to see dr. dodds at hemopet and brought her up to speed on the new issues.
she called and spoke directly to dr. armstrong while i was in the room.
we think that the durabolin is clearly the biggest attributor to the steadyness of sways RBC count.
dr. dodds also gave me hope that the random kidney issues could be something that was caused by the heat stroke sway had on thursday.
she also said that since this was so out of the blue, it might end up being something that would eventually correct itself.
outside of the specifics i mention here, jean dodds has just really inspired me to hang tough during this battle.
shes replenished me with hope and told me that i should not focus on what sway looks like, but rather we just adjust and establish a plan that will eventually make sway better.
...dr. dodds is truly an angel amongst us, and i am so thankful to have her in sways corner.

monday night sway looked better & her PCV was still holding steady...
earlier it had dropped to around 18 but i was told not to worry.
they explained that it was due to all the fluids sway was on, and at times that could dilute the blood...
sure enough, by the time i went in for a visit it had risen back to 22-25.
she was more alert than usual and wagging her tail when she saw me turn the corner.
she was wide awake.